❄️ Are you Frozen too? ❄️

areyoufrozentooperfectionism

One of the great joys of having young kids in the family is letting our own inner child come out to play. With the recent release of Frozen II in theaters, we thought this was the perfect time to relate this to being frozen in our own lives. Elsa the Snow Queen’s super-power is turning objects and people to ice. She can build icy bridges, stop an attack, and probably make ice cream whenever she wants (lucky). But her power has to be controlled. And while Elsa freezes things, we often freeze ourselves.

How we ‘Freeze’ ourselves

How do you relate with being frozen? In what area of life are you stuck? It could be around starting an exercise regimen, decluttering the basement or guest room, addressing the issues in your relationships, writing the book, updating the resume or asking for a raise. It could be in the area of health improvement, where we want to lose weight or become more plant-based, but we just can’t seem to begin or sustain our progress.

And because we are frozen, we just find ways to feel better about it. Sometimes we distract ourselves. Have you ever needed to study for a test and then looked at the messy state of your room and thought to yourself, “there’s no ways I can study in this environment”and then spent your study time detail-cleaning the room? We may distract ourselves with lounging in front of the TV, or spending hours on Facebook or Instagram. Numbing out with sugar, caffeine, smoking, or alcohol are also ways we try to make ourselves feel better about being frozen.

What makes this even worse is we put a layer of shame frosting on top. We start belittling ourselves and ‘wishing’ we were better. “Argh,” we think as we get up from the couch after 4 hours of watching Gypsy Sisters or Netflixing World War II documentaries, “I wish I had more motivation to have exercised today” or “I should have cleaned out the downstairs closet, it’s such a mess.”

Perhaps you can relate to unachieved goals, shame storms, and numbing out. Have you ever wondered what lies beneath?

What causes us to be Frozen

In a word: perfectionism. It sounds kind of beautiful, but it’s actually one of the worst words because of the meaning and effect it has in our lives.

It’s hard to say where our perfectionism comes from, but if you’ve ever grown up hearing someone say to you, “If you can’t do it right; don’t do it at all!,” that could be part of the origin. In essence, we are told that our actions, and even who we are, aren’t worthy unless perfect. What a toxic message to carry around with us in our lives.

Perfectionism tends to either paralyze us into inaction or cause us to go overboard and, consequently, burn out.

Why even start to clean the guest bedroom if we can’t do it ‘perfectly’ and we don’t have the five hours we believe it will take? Well, because you CAN make progress, even with 15 minutes of removing trash, clutter, and boxes. 

Perfectionism with our food usually looks like following a certain diet for a few days or weeks, then falling off the wagon and eating everything in sight. There’s an anti-dote to this that allows for sustainable weight loss; chat with us and find out more.

In short, perfectionism usually causes us to procrastinate, get overwhelmed, and shut-down or ‘freeze’.

What’s the cost of perfectionism? The cost is not getting things done at all, whereas we could have made progress. The cost is our inner peace; we don’t feel at peace when we feel stressed and frustrated by not having the time or ability to do something perfectly. Perfectionism can cost our relationships with other people. If you’ve ever yelled at a child or spouse because of a small mess or because they aren’t cleaning the ‘right’ way (your way) you can see the effect your perfectionism and words have on others. Also – and this is two-fold- if you value keeping your home environment museum-perfect over having your ‘messy’ grandchildren visit or if you feel like you can’t have visitors due to a messy, cluttered environment, your relationships with others will suffer.

Check yourself: next time you find yourself frustrated or overwhelmed by a challenge, look underneath that feeling to see if perfectionism is the undercurrent.

How to get Un-frozen

The power of un-freezing ourselves comes from realizing that progress > perfection. Initially, your belief in that statement will recoil. How could progress be better than that which is perfect? Well, considering the high costs and knowing something will never, ever truly be perfect….progress starts looking really good, right? Excellence, according to dictionary definition is, “the quality of being outstanding or extremely good.” If excellence means that we can take action, feel good about ourselves, and not get stuck, why would anyone choose perfectionism instead? 

A small step, taken consistently and continuously reaching toward our goal is better than no action at all. Perhaps you remember My 30-minute Morning Routine about how many people create obstacles for themselves to workout when 6 minutes of strength-training in your own home can still help you feel better and see results. But if you don’t learn to change your way of thinking, perfectionism will keep you hog-tied and frozen.

In Frozen II, Elsa’s sister, Anna, seems to display and embody more of the element – fire – in this movie. Here’s where we have an answer to thawing ourselves out and taking action. Fire motivates, it stirs passion, and, if uncontrolled, it will burn everything in its path. So the key here is to find your motivation and use it as the fire to propel you towards your goals, but without going overboard and burning out.

Motivation isn’t usually enough though, so consider other ‘hacks’ such as scheduling your workout. The 4 Tips to Fit in Fitness blog is a great place to start. When it comes to decluttering, check out our experience with the Konmari Method for inspiration and ideas to make it easier.

Want to write a book? Just start writing, imperfectly. A typo is not the end of the world; besides, there are opportunities to review and make edits (or have others do it!). Allowing perfectionism to rule in this area of your life means your story is never shared, in-print or online.

What’s one area of your life where you’re willing to become ‘unfrozen’ and warm up your ‘fire’ to take action?

Female Friendships: Part I

FriendShip is a Sheltering Tree

Friendships are an important aspect of a happy, healthy life.

As part of our work with clients, we address social support systems – not just to figure out potential obstacles with newly developed healthy eating patterns (i.e. how to now navigate book club, happy hour, pizza night) but to also check in and see how to supported our client feels in life and how to improve it further. Studies show that, particularly for women, social support is a determinant for health.

In addition, the concept of ‘soul-food’ comes into play. Sure there’s nutrition that helps build our bones, cells, muscles, but there’s also invisible energy that also ‘feeds’ us on a deeper level. Think back to your childhood or adolescence when you went outside to play with friends for hours or were thoroughly engaged with a project of your choosing. Your parent might have called you in for dinner but you were so involved in the game or in a state of ‘flow’ with your individual enterprise that you responded with “I’m not hungry!”

While we know that social media is not a substitute for creating deeper friendships, it’s often easier to scroll through our feed, “like,” and move on with our day. We create a self-deceptive illusion of not being isolated; instead, we believe we are ‘connected’ with our community and x-number of friends (followers).

The common challenge for many clients is that, particularly for those in their 30s-50s, the busyness of work and family life, moving away or having friends relocate, changing jobs, and the changing seasons of our lives can loosen the bonds of friendship and social support. It may be years before one even realizes the effect these gradual changes have had on their previously-strong support system.

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In the Client Spotlight!

client spotlight of recognition

Initially, I was nervous because I had never worked with a nutritionist and did not know what to expect.  Reading reviews online and learning that you took a more wholistic approach helped calm my nerves as it aligned to how I like to view health and nutrition. Since the start of our working together,  I have been able to switch to a healthy vegan diet and have lost approximately 18 pounds.  While these were my reasons to start the program, Adrienne helped create more balance in my life, helping to manage my stress levels and emphasizing taking care of my whole self.

I really appreciated your positive approach to coaching.  You never made our meetings about just losing weight, but about educating me on how to construct a healthy diet in a sustainable way that does not feel like a “diet”.  The focus on health and energy over calories or eliminating food groups helped make this a fun program that included trying new recipes and techniques that kept it interesting and exciting.  I have a whole new set of recipes that are both delicious and healthy.

Also,  I benefited from the visualization parts of the program greatly. The 1 month, 6 month, and 1 year goal setting exercise helped me stay on track and stay motivated.  It also allowed myself to really think about what I want to accomplish this year.  It has helped from a health perspective, but it also helped me to visualize and come terms with where I wanted to be with my relationship, my self care, and my career.

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Dietitian vs. Nutritionist

dietitian vs nutritionist one bite wellness

If you’re confused about the difference between a registered dietitian (R.D.) and a nutritionist, you’re not the only one. After meeting with a doctor last week who asked this question, we figured it was high-time to explore the education, options, and state requirements with you. It’s confusing out there, so let’s clarify this situation.

Whether your goals include losing weight, having a healthy pregnancy, reducing high blood sugars and cholesterol, or improving athletic performance, diet is the place to start. A professional who specializes in nutrition is key, since their advice is based on knowledge, skills, and experience. But why might you want to make an appointment with a registered dietitian and not a nutritionist?

The key difference is in the education and training each has received. Outside of Ohio and a few other states, nutritionists often do not require any formal training, license, nor certification in order to set up a practice. Essentially anyone can call themselves a nutritionist in certain states such as Colorado and California, where there isn’t any requirement to be licensed (or even educated) as a nutritionist.

If you live in Ohio, someone who calls himself/herself a nutritionist is a registered dietitian (or is breaking the law). The person has been licensed by the Ohio Board of Dietetics (now the State Medical Board of Ohio) and may use the terms ‘clinical nutritionist’,’nutrition counselor’ and ‘nutrition consultant.’ A registered dietitian has completed the following:

  1. A minimum of a four-year college degree, with specific study of human nutrition through the life cycles, anatomy and physiology, as well as other sciences
  2. A 1,200-hour minimum, supervised internship
  3. Passed a national credentialing exam, which covers nutrition information from clinical to food service and community aspects
  4. Maintaining at least 75 continuing education credits every 5 years

Dietitians comply with a code of ethics by which to guide their practice and rely on evidence-based nutrition recommendations.

If you’re in a state outside of Ohio (perhaps one that doesn’t require licensing), know that some of the people calling themselves nutritionists can still be helpful and knowledgeable. To seek the advice and expertise of a registered dietitian, you can look for the RD or RDN (registered dietitian nutritionist) initials after their name.

Your Life’s Work + 10 Years

your-lifes-work

Without consciously planning, people often assume roles, professions, and jobs they find acceptable or even just barely tolerable, believing the shape of their lives is due to circumstance.

Our belief is that each one of us has a purpose on this earth. A mission. A way of living and working that encourages the sharing of your intelligence and creativity as well as fitting with your values and allowing you to be yourself, authentically. 

Traditional work often requires more of us than we want to give (which can lead to resentment); our life’s work is driven by our passion, intention, and sense of mission. We give more time and energy than we would in traditional work because we feel, compelled out of love and joy, to do so.

We all weren’t born with knowing our life’s purpose. Some find their purpose earlier than others. If you’re feeling directionless, here are some ideas on how to make a discovery of your mission:

  1. Consider the interests you have now and those you had as a child. Perhaps you liked building cities out of Legos, drawing up architectural plans of your dream house, using imaginary tools to perform ‘surgery’ on your dolls, being a movie director and casting your siblings in a superhero drama, organizing events or games for others to play, teaching others how to do gymnastic moves, doing arts and crafts, reading or drawing, cooking or baking with your parents. Mine your memory for some of your favorite activities or a certain profession you were drawn to – they can be a hint for what you may enjoy doing now.
  2. Conversely, are you harboring an interest in something as of yet unexplored? Perhaps being a travel agent, working to protect the environment, learning how to program computers, or starting a pet massage business is something you’ve been secretly yearning to do.
  3. Take inventory. What are your skills, strengths, beliefs, passions, and values? These can help you refine your search for purpose.
  4. Create space to consider what you feel called to and narrow it down. Ask yourself how you want to work. Do you like the environment of a fast-paced laboratory? Do you like working with your hands? Sit quietly in meditation and set an intention to be open to clues or signs of what you’re meant to do.

On your journey to uncovering your life’s mission, you may realize your true potential and live a purposeful and authentic life. Also, because life is rarely linear, you may find that your life’s work will change at various points in your life. Perhaps after years of loving numbers-crunching as an accountant you now feel you want to help others relax as a yoga teacher. Maybe you felt strongly about being a present parent and devoted almost two decades of your life to that pursuit only to find that you’re now free to discover your next step or new passion.

How you know you’ve discovered your life’s work: you are energized and eager to face each day. You feel good about the work you do as well as who you are.

Here at One Bite Wellness, from director to associate to intern, we are here because it is our life’s mission to improve the lives of others – body, mind, and spirit. We empower and support each client to take care of their health and their lives, including finding their life’s passion.

For over 10 years since we’ve found our mission and calling, we feel supremely thankful to be able to use all of our gifts to serve you. Thank you for supporting our life’s work.

Minimalism as Maximalism

minimalism

In our city and throughout the nation, people are showing an increased interest in minimalism as way of downsizing from the McMansions while addressing debt, stress and overwhelm, and feeling of isolation.

The Minimalists movie, which came out about a week ago, is a documentary about minimalism as a way of focusing on the important aspects of life. Early in the film, we learn of two friends, Ryan Nicodemus and Joshua Fields Millburn, and their discovery that climbing the corporate ladder, having a 6-figure income and lots of stuff wasn’t fulfilling them. Joshua had some heart-breaking transitions in his life (divorce and the death of his mother in the same month), but Ryan saw that he still seemed to have a greater sense of peace and calm in life. So Ryan took Joshua out to lunch and asked why. Minimalism. Through the conversation, Joshua explained the concept and Ryan became radically inspired. How do I do this and quickly, he asked. They came up with the idea of a packing party. Ryan drastically reduced his possessions and they both went on to create The Minimalists blog and to share the message of living a more meaningful life.

Minimalism is slightly counter-culture to the consumerist society we live in. It causes us to examine and challenge the beliefs we hold to be true – some inculcated early in life by marketing; and it is all based on fear. How could you possibly attract the love of your life with that breakout on your nose? Use our face wash or concealer. We’ve defined success and it’s driving in this car, the commercial will say. Who cares if you go into debt for any of your acquisitions? Everyone else has debt too, so take comfort that you are still part of the in-group. Besides, here is a bank with low-interest rates so you can ‘save’ enough money to take your family on a fabulous vacation. All of these messages sell us on the idea that we are not enough, but that we can spend our money on things that will makes us better, happier, successful people. And we’ve had a strong history of falling for it.

In our view, minimalism causes all of us to critically think about our lives – the choices, job, items, and relationships – and to remove the layers that stand between us and maximizing the freedom and joy in our lives. This could take the form of removing physical items from the environment – clearing out clothes, old shoes, picture frames, or miscellany – and it can also take the form of reducing the activities or social ties we have which don’t bring a sense of growth or joy. By doing this, we create SPACE. Space not for more stuff, but for the dreams bubbling beneath the surface of depression or malaise. Space for new people who inspire and share similar values to come into our lives. We provide space for ourselves to relax for an afternoon reading Truman Capote by the pool.

One does not need to pare down to 175 items or renounce all pleasures in life that require gear or tools. To start exploring minimalism as an idea that may benefit you, start with this inquiry:

“What is one item or activity you could minimize today that will help maximize growth or joy?”tweet this

What are Primary Foods?

what are primary foods

Primary foods is the idea that areas of life exist that ‘feed’ us and that food is secondary to those.

Most of us can remember a time when we were outside playing with friends or engaged in creative endeavors and a parent would inform us that dinner was ready. “But I’m not hungry yet” we would reply. Being in love is much the same – we live in a more colorful, animated, magical world and are sustained by the love and play with our partner. We were having so much fun, in the ‘zone’ on a art project, or blissed out in love….food was secondary because we were being fed on a higher level – the passion and energy in our lives.

How dramatically different life seems to be now. Most clients report a lack of excitement about their days and the work, stress, and family obligations that come with it. However, they do find enjoyment from Diet Coke, ice cream, or wine. They often report feeling ‘stuck’ with low energy and little passion.

At the same time, a meaningful conversation with a friend can have you inspired, floating on air. A beautiful piece of music can inspire a well-spring of emotion or ideas. We are hungry for nourishment in the form of play, achievement, connection, love, adventure, spirituality, romance, intimacy, art, and excitement.

Take a look at your life.

In the area of relationships, what’s happening for you?

Do you find meaning or satisfaction in your career?

Is your form of exercise fun?

Do you have a form of spiritual practice that provides connection and peace?

You can make huge improvements in health and vitality if you can address these questions, regardless of whether you are vegan or paleo.

All the kale in the world is not going to make you feel well if you work with a toxic boss or are lonely.tweet this

This is not to say that food is unimportant – it’s part of the process for lowering cholesterol or weight loss, for example. However, there’s a personal transformation that happens when one looks at their life in a much broader way and gets help in making the changes.

As our client Diane shared, “I wanted help with reducing my cholesterol level without medication. Over a few months, we did that and even surprised my doctor, who thought I was taking the statin he prescribed! What I didn’t expect was a wonderful bonus- my sleep is better, I lost weight, I have more energy and exercise more frequently, and my relationships with others have improved. Addressing my goal of [lowering] cholesterol was great – what’s even better is my whole life has transformed.”

Our thousands of experiences in life are energy that can fulfill us physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

We at One Bite Wellness blend extensive education and experience in the science of nutrition along with the art form of coaching our clients through lifestyle changes. The result is an improvement in physical health and even more, a life transformation.