10 Things I Hate About You 😠

We’re not referring to the 1999 movie, loosely based on Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, though it’s a fairly timeless movie. We also don’t hate you; in fact, we are quite fond of you…but are you fond of yourself?

Today, we’re bringing to light negative self-talk, the ways in which we show unkindness or even hatred toward ourselves. Have you ever thought…

1. Ugh! How do I weigh this much? I hate my body!

2. No wonder no one likes me. I’m so boring.

3. I give up. I can’t do this.

4. Sooner or later, I always mess up anyway.

5. You’re such a fat loser, how could you eat a second piece of cake?

6. Here we go again, me and my ‘thunder thighs’ won’t get to wear shorts this summer.

7. Others won’t like me. They’re better than I am.

8. I’m not good enough. I have to strive to be perfect and please everyone else.

9. What’s the use in trying? I’m not worth it.

10. How could you have said something so stupid? You’re such an idiot.

Each of these statements has been a part of the soliloquy playing through a person’s head. Many of them are universally shared.

Sometimes the saying “you are your own worst enemy” is very true. Most people can name 10 ways in which they hate themselves easier than they can list their positive qualities. Here’s the twist: if we are capable of being our own worst enemies, then we are also able to be our own best friends. Don’t expect your inner dialogue to change overnight though, these conversation patterns will need to be disrupted and then practiced.

How to transform negative self-talk

1. Start with awareness – “oh, I just had a thought that I always mess up” and gently probe to see what triggered the thought: “I got scared because my co-worker asked me to use new software to run reports and I don’t know how.”

2. Label the thought and evaluate it to see if it’s even true. If so, you can choose another thought that is also true on for size. Practice this, it likely won’t immediately replace the negative self-talk.

3. Sometimes you have to go into neutral before moving into the positive thoughts and affirmations. Otherwise, the chasm between what your brain believes is true (the negative “you’re a fat slob”) and the thoughts you’re trying to adopt (the affirmation “you are a beautiful goddess”) will be too great to cross. So, instead of trying to move from a thought about hating your body to loving your body, you may need to focus on the neutral fact that you have a body.

4. Give your brain a duty – it could be to search your memories to find 3 times in your life when you were most proud of yourself for overcoming adversity or to seek out 5 things you appreciate about your body. When you give your mind a job, like code in a program ordering the computer to find a file, it will do it.

Have your HATED yourself into Weight Loss?

Chances are, you’ve likely used the disgust and the fury of hating your body as the fuel to starve and beat yourself into losing some weight. Instead of 500-calorie deprivation diets and over-exercising, there is another way…

Curious to see how you can love yourself into a healthier lifestyle and happier body?

Check out Lose the ‘Quarantine 15’ this Quarter; it’s not a competitive, bootcamp-style program. It’s a group training and coaching program designed to help you build a better relationship with yourself, your body, and with food.

It’s not just focused on weight. We have metrics we’ll be tracking for body composition, tips to improve sleep and digestion, along with organizational tips for your time and home so you’ll make time for self-care and have handy essentials available to make quick and delicious meals.

Have more questions or want to get acquainted before grabbing your seat? Schedule your introductory “Ready to Lose the ‘Quarantine 15’ – let’s talk!” call. We’re happy to answer questions and help ensure that this program is a great fit for you and your needs.

Minimalism vs. Essentialism for 2021

What do you think when you hear the word “minimalism”? A way of life only for hipsters traveling the world with their laptops and backpacks? People living in tiny homes? It may surprise you to learn that, for one to be a minimalist, it doesn’t require you to be a cool-hat-wearing twenty-something, own less than 200 items or make YouTube videos about minimizing your closet.

Perhaps you can relate. If your twenties were all about trying new hobbies, identities, styles and outfits, there’s a good chance that you’ve accumulated *things* to go along with those. What happens in your 30s and 40s? If you’ve chosen a mate, had kids, have a steady job, and have settled into who and where you are right now, there is a good chance you’re surrounded by annoying or aspirational reminders of who you once were. Ten years ago you may have been dating a rock climber and, at the time, you needed the gear. Same goes for things you once loved but don’t anymore – rollerblading, embroidery patterns, cookbooks with laborious recipes, the guitar sitting in the corner – and make you feel guilty. That size 2 little black dress looked great on you during your dancing days, but now that you’ve gained 20 lbs, it hangs around waiting for you to be able to wear it again. One day.

Part of the problem which our possessions is that we have become inured to their presence. We don’t *see* the rollerblades we’ve passed in the garage over a thousand times. It’s like we have blinders on and so, in a way, minimalism is about bringing awareness back to what we own and why. It also encourages us not to delay and procrastinate in making decisions for some designated time ‘in the future.’

The average household is said to have over 300,000 items; does that seem accurate to you? Do you feel it is a bit excessive? Maybe it’s time to put your house on a diet.

While we’ve stopped short of counting everything we own, over the past 6 years or so, we’ve counted and cataloged our way through purges of household items (with questions such as: “do two people in a household really need 45 glasses/cups/mugs?”). For this year, one of our goals was to remove 2020 items from our household – roughly 168 items each month. Every single item was written down to help keep track and to see if we actually regretted removing it from the household.

Surprise! Most of it is not missed at all – not our third spatula, the ill-fitting shirt, knick-knacks, expired supplements or makeup. The beauty is that each room is easier to keep tidy and clean. The clothes in the closet have space to breathe and don’t fall on top of the person looking to get dressed.

Minimalism and essentialism are both related to intentional living. Where they differ is operating in the physical versus mental realms of life improvement.

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