It’s a tale as old as time: the wish that we were healthier, wealthier, in better relationships, able to run a marathon, or _____ ← insert your desire that hasn’t come into reality. Sadly, often years (or decades!) pass where we then express regret:
“If only I had been checking my blood sugar levels earlier and changing my food choices…now I have diabetes.”
“If only I had started investing in mutual funds when I meant to…now I’m wondering when I’ll be ready to retire”
“If only I had paid attention to those little red flags and reversed my path rather than gathering the flags like flowers…now I’m getting a divorce”
“If only I had started jogging months ago like I said I would…now I have to bow out of that Hawaii marathon”
The tricky thing is that we know that taking the actions we talked about would have benefited us, we just either saw early obstacles and decided not to go down the path OR we hit some sticky mud traps early on and retreated back to our old ‘normal’.
Our clients are often very intelligent, curious and competent people who excel in many areas of their lives, and they tend to be very hard on themselves about their ability to make positive changes in their personal lives – whether that’s losing those extra pounds, making sleep a priority, taking laxatives for their constipation instead of dealing with the root-cause, not exercising even though they know the benefits, and more.
We’ve seen countless clients struggle with making healthy changes, and, believe it or not, we’ve had our own issues with immobilization. Often, the resistance isn’t due to a lack of knowledge or desire, but deeper, more complex reasons. Let’s explore four key factors that might be holding you back from embracing a healthier lifestyle and what to do about it.
1. Emotional Comfort and Trauma
Imagine you’ve had a pret-ty rough day at work. You come home and your first instinct is to reach for that tub of delicious ice cream in your freezer. You know what ice cream isn’t a health food and won’t help you drop those extra pounds. But here’s the thing: this isn’t just about the ice cream; it’s about seeking comfort and emotional relief. For many of us, food becomes a coping mechanism for dealing with trauma or stress…or just even emotions we’d rather not feel. Childhood experiences, like being soothed with sweets when upset, can create lasting associations between food and comfort.
A way out of this: begin by identifying your emotional triggers. When you feel the urge to eat for comfort, take a moment to pause and ask yourself what you’re truly feeling. Are you stressed, sad, or lonely? Maybe you need a hug, a bath, a nap. Try alternative coping mechanisms, like journaling, calling a friend or therapist, or engaging in a relaxing activity. Nutritional therapy can also be a powerful tool to address and change behaviors and thoughts, reducing the need to seek comfort in food.
2. Fear of Change and Uncertainty
Switching to a plant-based diet can seem daunting. The discomfort associated with not knowing what to eat or how to cook plant foods can make it hard to even start. There is fear associated with summer barbecues or other gatherings where people might see you as ‘difficult’ with your dietary requirements “oh, I didn’t know that when I bought these hot dogs to grill out” or “can’t you still just try the macaroni salad? I just used a little bit of mayonnaise and it’s your grandmother’s recipe”. The guilt, shame, or fear of being ‘weird’ or missing out on favorite foods can create resistance. Change often involves stepping into the unknown, which can be uncomfortable and intimidating. Which can lead us right back to the ice cream example above!
A way out of this: Start small and gradual. Introduce one plant-based meal per week – like a Meatless Monday – and slowly increase as you become more comfortable. Educate yourself about new foods, protein sources, possible nutrient deficiencies that may need correction, and recipes! Seek support from friends, healthcare providers, supportive family members, or online communities with people who are on a similar journey. Remember, it’s okay to take it one step at a time and not go full-bore. In fact, it’s probably better that you don’t!
3. Self-Sabotage and Negative Self-Beliefs
You’ve decided to start exercising regularly, but after a week, you find yourself skipping workouts (always with a creative rationalization!) and feeling guilty. This self-sabotage often stems from deep-seated negative self-beliefs, like doubting your ability to succeed or feeling like your health is ‘good enough’ …and little devil on your shoulder wins again.
A way out of this: This won’t be easy as it’s like catching a fish or wild rabbit with your hands – you have to ‘catch’ the thoughts that led to a certain action (or inaction, like not working out). Once you’ve caught the thought, use your imagination and turn it over in your hands – look at the thought, examine where it might have come from, ask what the meaning is behind the thought. Once you understand it a little better, it’s easier to ‘catch’ next time, you may be able to work through the issues it represents, and you can build a more balanced and positive mindset. Perhaps set more realistic and achievable goals to build confidence. Remember to give yourself grace and some self-compassion too. If you’re finding all of this very difficult, you may want to consider working with a therapist to uncover and address the root causes of self-sabotage.
4. Environmental and Social Influences
Aha – a very common issue, especially during our current ‘25’ Sugar Detox Challenge: you’ve decided to cut down on sugar, but your workplace or work-from-home space is filled with sweets and sugary snacks. The other challenge is that social gatherings often revolve around unhealthy food choices, making it challenging to stick to your goals.
A way out of this: Create a supportive environment by keeping healthy snacks at your desk and in your fridge/pantry. Ask your spouse and kids for ideas about creating a healthier home environment. Consider suggesting healthier options for social events or bring something to contribute. Communicate your goals to friends and family, and ask for their support. Seek out like-minded communities, a health coach or a wellness buddy who can provide the encouragement and accountability you need.
Final Thoughts
Understanding the reasons behind your resistance to healthy changes is the first step toward overcoming them. Whether it’s emotional comfort, fear of change, negative self-beliefs, or environmental influences, each factor can be addressed with patience and persistence. Remember, it’s a journey. Get a health coach to help guide you and, remember, every small step forward is a victory. Embrace the process (not perfectionism), seek support, and celebrate your progress along the way!
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